It came to my attention at Q that a large and growing number of churches across America are preaching to their unmarried congregants about how to properly use contraceptives. This surprised me. Given the trajectory of the American church today, I don't know why it surprised me so much. But it did. And my surprise didn't stop there. The conference staff conducted a very unscientific poll at the conference and over 2/3 of the people responding to the poll agreed with the recent trend of teaching about proper contraception use from the pulpit.
The main rationale given (that I heard at the conference) for the trend is that everyone is having sex anyway, so we need to face reality and teach contraception use so that we can reduce the amount of unplanned pregnancies and abortions among our singles. This rationale is a classic example of how we love to deal with symptoms rather than deal with the root, foundational causes of the symptoms. Dealing with the symptoms is much easier because it is less confrontational and takes much less time. It is much less messy and doesn't require a lot of investment on our part to get to the heart of the issue in the lives of our brothers and sisters. However, in only dealing with the symptoms, it is like we are simply putting a band-aid on a deep, gaping head wound. Sure, it may stop the bleeding in the short-term, but the wound will continue to fester underneath and cause bigger, more serious problems later because the band-aid does not address the real problem with the wound.
In the same way, preaching about proper contraceptive use to singles does not address the real problem with the wounds in the single's hearts, minds, and souls. It does not address the deep rooted issues in the lives of the singles that cause them to ignore the clear teachings in Scripture and engage in sex outside of marriage (which, on a side note, causes all kinds of social ills (e.g., marital issues) in addition to unplanned pregnancy and abortions). It does not address the need for a clear, unabashed Gospel response to the tragic rise and acceptance of premarital sex in our culture. A response that does not hold up the white flag and surrender to the downfall of our societal values and norms that somehow make it OK to defile the marital bed because "they're already doing it and are going to do it anyway." We need a response that does not implicitly approve extramarital sex. We need a response that holds firm to the clear edicts in the Bible and teaches our youth, young adults, adults, and elderly the truths about what the Bible really says about sex outside of marriage and WHY the Bible is so clear about not defiling the marriage bed.
As I alluded to above, premarital sex causes a lot more issues in our society other than unplanned pregnancies and increase in abortions. Among many other things that would take a series of blog entries to cover properly, it cheapens the amazing gift from God of the intimate bond of sex between a man and woman in marriage, it contributes to low self-respect, it causes marital issues when spouses "compare" their husband or wife to past partners, and the list goes on [feel free to add to the list through comments].
Unfortunately, the church's ever-increasing tendency to only deal with symptoms rather than foundational issues also shows up all throughout the world of orphan care. One specific area where many in orphan care are "holding up the white flag" is the lack of "good men" to care for the children, which just happens to be directly linked to the rampant extramarital sex going on in the world. In short (this issue will be covered in detail in a later post), throughout the orphan care community, many people are dealing with the lack of quality men by creating homes where the children are being raised only by one or two women. In essence, they are dealing with the symptom of no quality men in society by creating "fatherless" homes, which themselves will have long-term negative consequences because the children will not have a daddy. Scripture is very intentional about speaking of God's love for the "fatherless" because He knows how important a daddy is to the development of every child's life.
Instead of simply accepting that there are no good men in society and moving on to encourage a "second-best" mentality, we need to address the root, foundational issue and start discipling men in our communities. To be the husbands they need to be. To be the daddies they need to be. To be the men they need to be. To not just accept that they're bad and move on. But to trust that God can redeem anyone and that He is using us to bring renewal to this world. To trust that God loves the fatherless more than we ever will and His heart cries out to see each of them have a mommy AND a daddy to love them well. The response that deals with the foundational issue meets the men where they are, builds deep and authentic relationships with them, and demands more out of them - it demands that they be gospel-driven leaders of their families and communities. This response takes a lot time, is messy, and often disappoints. But it can also lead to incredibly rewarding results - and without it, we will never be able to make a dent in the ever-growing number of fatherless in our world.
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Phil,
ReplyDeleteSpot on! Really fantastic post.